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- Apr 1, 2025
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You are my kind of guy. Yes, This is another way to get them working but than we can get our own personal file passed on personal case by case basis. Now your experience reminds me of one of my encounter with traffic police. Its a few years back when i was in college. I went to drop a friend of mine at our city bus stand. There the chowki police at that time was busy in vasooli. They were looting the people of money in violation of "No Parking" lettering on the walls. Mind you they had set up their vasooli operation on the connecting lane to the parking lot which is behind the bus stand. Still in the bus stand premises both the lane and the lot. So, I was going to the parking lot through this lane and they waved the hand. I ofcourse stopped and asked what is it. They pulled out my motorcycle key and demanded documents. I showed them all the documents and asked if they all are fine. They said yes. Then i asked for my documents and key. They refused and said i will have to pay the challan as i was breaking the "No Parking" lettering. I obviously protested. That its unenforceable. They tried to pressurise me to pay threatening with the challan. I called their bluff and asked them to do the challan and hand me receipt and i will pay it at the station. I was adamant. Do the challan and phuck off. They raised the ante by asking me to come with them to chowki. They thought i will budge. But they didn't know me. While we were walking towards chowki the incharge blabbered to me how i was breaking the law etc etc. They however didn't know that i am not some retard. I had not broken any law. Those letterings were not even enforceable and even if they were enforceable i hadn't broken them. I was driving my motorcycle. It was not parked. It is they who waved me to stop. So, I was bullet proof. They can't charge me for it and anything else they try i will pull out my weight too. I believe they got some memo from my confidence. Incharge asked me what i do. I declined. Why would i tell them? Why will i waste it for a petty vasooli operation? Their in chowki I made it crystal clear to them. Do the challan and give me my keys back. There is no negotiation. They tried to daddle but I was fully adamant too. The incharge tried to raise the stake by declaring my 13 year old motorcycle RC invalid. I said do its challan too. They than tried to know my profession again. But as i said i was not in good mood that day. So, I didn't disclose them anything. So, finally after 5 minutes they relented and handed me back my keys and documents and complained that they are just doing their duty etc etc like i give a hoot.Oh i have gotten babus to change but then again, i am an indian who spent 50% of my minor years outside india and 90% of my adult life outside india.
I know how to get babus to comply - my dad was complaining while i was there that the new apartment he bought- the babus wont do mutation till he pays 5 lac ghoos. i told him let me look into it - i went to talk to babu as a proper bhodrolok.
he asked for ghoos and told me to fuck off else ghoos becomes bigger as i am NRI. so i told him i will bring ghoos next week and took appointment.
I work IT and i have one of the most sought after IT certificates- so i did some 'IT-giri'. i went back to babu with an empty duffel bag and i pulled out a file and started asking questions about the street of chicago where babus son was living and doing degree.
Kind of pointed out how babus son had 3 years left and chicago is a very dangerous city in USA - 4th highest murder rate. Afterall i live in usa for last 20 years so i know usa very well...especially Chicago where i have many friends... Isnt that city too dangerous ? all the while keeping stone-cold eye contact.
and then i asked him how much was the amount again ?
He flat out said - what amount ? arrey...you misunderstood me...your file will be ready in 2 hours, please return after lunch.
I did. mutation done.
problem is, most desis dont think like me. 99% of the time, they are pussies who pay and the 1% who dont are straight gundaas who pull out a gun.